|Another Pointless Update
||[Jan. 30th, 2009|10:46 pm]
Oh thank the dickens it's Friday, but at the same time give me another week before Monday starts. Oh, man. School is slowly, but painfully, kicking my ass again. I guess after 5 years of college you really start to feel done with this shit (whether you're truly done or not.) Been thinking a lot about how to apply myself in the real world lately. And application comes in the form of moving to the country, getting a big lot of land, and owning several dozen dogs. Part of me wishes I had studied business so this dream wouldn't seem so, well, dreamlike. That is, I'd know how to open my own business and I could run a dog boarding place on my land, open a bed and breakfast, or a dinner by the river. Instead I got an English major, and really don't trust myself to be dedicated enough to learning or teaching myself how to do anything else. This. These moments in life are the moments I feel really down on myself and wish I was as smart as people think I am or as smart as I want to be. I envy people with passion...hence my complete heart-breaking love for the documentary Man on Wire. I WANT to do a lot of things; I just fall short in the passion to push myself. Turns out I am really that lazy.|
I really want to move out of Eugene, but by that I mean like 40 miles out..to the country. To somewhere like Triangle Lake or Blue RIver or further. I'm getting this nesting feeling in my blood that I can't seem to kick. I even brought up these ideas to Sam. About moving out of town and into the country. We're both graduating soon. It wouldn't be all that bad. It's just, well, there is no job market out there. And as far as elementary teaching goes, something I've been contemplating doing, the school's out there teach creationism. And, well, I'm just not into that.
On some lighter notes, I am kinda done being sick. Which is awesome. Flu led into uti turned into kidney infection. I pretty much thought death had taken over my body by Tuesday night as Sam held me while I cried in a ball unable to move because of kidney pain...but then, like magic, it disappeared (read: magic = antibiotics.)
This week, well the past two days, I have spent more money than I have all month. Although that kinda sucks I now have a new (working) digital camera in the mail, a fridge and cabinets full of fresh food, and a buncha little shit from Target I didn't actually need.
On a final note I haven't smoked a cigarette in 2 weeks and pretty much don't plan on smoking regularly ever again. By this I mean I will probably smoke on those random drunken nights and bi-annual trips to Chicago, but I'm fairly confident I'm done smoking. So that rocks. Also, I had no idea how easy running was until I started running everyday this week and not having any trouble breathing at all. In the words of Denise McCarthy: Dear fresh lungs, I wuv you. Love, Kerry.